Updated: Feb 22, 2019
The point of this article is to prove to BP's that we are on this earth for a reason and all of our suffering is to teach us the lessons we need to reach our full potential and gain protection and prosperity in this lifetime.
What is a spiritual awakening? We can refer to this awesome and delightful article from Laura Marie stating 21 symptoms of a spiritual awakening and it will give you major clarity of what millions of people in this world are experiencing right now. For a Borderline Personality it may seem a little far fetched. Compassion and bliss are far from we are feeling. But from experience I know exactly what BPD is and how it makes us react and if it's not a spiritual awakening we are yearning for I don't know what is. Let dig deep for a bit.
The #1 symptom in her article says "The feeling that something inside of you has changed". Now contrary to her article Borderlines start from a similar yet more complicated place. Instead of us feeling an uncontrollable happiness that changes us, we feel an uncontrollable sadness, trauma or rage that changes us. So initially what starts to move us spiritually is a trauma or negative influence, which makes sense since most people with BPD aren't in a positive environment or state of mind to be able to believe in that kind of hope anyway. So life moves us towards our awakening the only way it knows how. Through chaos.
The 2nd symptom is "Awareness of your old negative habits" I believe this is where our "splitting" comes in. We know that our outbursts and neediness and desperation and bad behavior isn't right. But we are the way we are for a reason. Maybe somebody dismisses our feelings, pokes at our insecurities, belittles us, provokes us, neglects us, doesn't give us the comfort we need, etc. See we know our flaws and where it stems from but what splits us inside is, do they? Do they know that the way they treat us isn't right? We know we need to tone it down a notch and learn how to communicate better but it doesn't seem like the people who triggered us care enough to do the same for themselves or for us. We know exactly who we don't want to be because we've seen the behavior that hurt us. You know you never want to treat anyone the way people have treated you. Or maybe you've forgotten that important part of your journey. If you have forgotten this important lesson then that brings me to symptom #3.
"To not feel good with your old entourage anymore and to feel the need to be alone or with new people who align with who you have become." It goes on to say "Evolving spiritually can be a painful process, as not everyone around you will evolve at the same speed. Very often, we grow ourselves following a certain event or certain encounters, but it is not necessarily the case for our family and friends, that stay the same." This is where things start to get crazy in a BP's life. Well...even crazier. Instead of realizing we don't want to be the way the world is we throw in the towel and conform to it all or we go crazy trying to get the hell away from everything and everyone that triggers us and reminds us of our "failures". This is the time where we normally get on psychiatric drugs or we start doing things like drinking a lot, putting ourselves in dangerous situations, gambling, promiscuous sex, joining gangs, getting in unhealthy relationships and things like that. I'm not saying all BPD's go through this darkness before they get to the light but most do. Its a part of our diagnoses that we have been put into such turmoil that we only make worse (unawarely) because we don't know how to react properly to it all. We desperately go on a journey to find things that take away the pain and distract us from it or make us feel good. In the situation we were born in this was the only way the universe could push us into the next chapter of our lives. Besides anything is better than staying in the same place forever that created our original pain, remember?
Once we hit rock bottom or continue doing things that keep hurting us, and only if we take responsibility and have compassion for ourselves, we will start to realize we need to take control of our actions even more, especially since we did the work to get away from our original triggers to begin with. And once we get to a point in our lives where we are in a good place and in the right mind to make a decision for ourselves we will always choose whats best for us. Sometimes that takes us down some bad paths for our awakening if we don't choose carefully. We get hurt so much by people we realize not everybody is what they seem. And that's exactly what we crave...security and trust.
This brings me to Symptom #4 of a Spiritual Awakening : "To not stand for superficiality and everything that is not authentic." It goes on to say "You are on a quest to authenticity, simplicity, real things, that would make your heart sing. You may think you have become antisocial, or “too difficult”, but “it is no sign of health to be well adjusted to a sick society”, always remember this." This is where our "disorder" and the actual article finally start to align away from the shadows. We become empowered by our hard work in ourselves and everything we have survived and we want to start to live life to the best of our abilities against all odds. We realize that just as we've made mistakes due to our trauma and misconceptions people have hurt us under the same circumstances in their lives. We learn not to take things so personal and we actual start to feel sympathy for others and learn to forgive (even though we must still stay far away from them!) It takes us to Symptom #5 and beyond.
I wont keep naming them because if you've made it passed all those obstacles you've entered a whole new vibration spiritually that is going to attract so many blessings for you and the rest of Laura's article will resonate with you without any more of my guidance. Once you get to the point where you can actually feel again and take responsibility for your actions and future you will start to heal in hyper speed and we all know evolving into our best selves is our purpose of living! May the universe bless you all with love, prosperity and true happiness! Learn how to not let others get in the way of your progress here!
Kassandra Rosado of The Public Society of Humanity
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